Kyle of the Squirrel

This morning:

Zipper burst into bedroom, peaks over the bed at femchef with angry, demanding eyes.

Me: oh, my god, femchef, you have to give them wet food when you give Lily her insulin.

Femchef: what? Why?

Me: look at his face! He needs it! If you don’t, he will say…uh….

Femchef goes to get ready for work.

Me: hold on, I’m trying to combine a cat related word with civil….

Two minutes later

Me: !

Run into restroom

Me: Cerval! A violation of his Cerval Liberies!

#BlackKnights with broad noses, large lips, purple beam and they’re the bad guys terrorizing white people. That’s #racist. #DoctorWho

I figure it out, #StevenMoffat. The mystery #TimeLady is his grand daughter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ii1tc493bZM&t=1m1s

Domon Kasshu: KYOJI! THIS HAND OF MINE IS YOUR HAND! NO, WAIT IT’S MY HAND! OH, WAIT, IT’S MINE! 

NO! 

WAIT! 

IT’S YOURS!

am i dying?

because my head feels like I’m dying

kayliemalinza:

risunokairu:

kayliemalinza:

kayliemalinza:

the more you treat me like a feral cat, the better we’ll get along

this does NOT mean you should kidnap me and cut my nuts off

approach with a fast walk, but not a run, while shouting “oh my god come here so i can rub you on my face you’re mine now jessica help me capture it” while stretching my arms out to catch you?

i seem to recall most cats running away when you do that

i’m not seeing a ‘no’

kayliemalinza:

kayliemalinza:

the more you treat me like a feral cat, the better we’ll get along

this does NOT mean you should kidnap me and cut my nuts off

approach with a fast walk, but not a run, while shouting “oh my god come here so i can rub you on my face you’re mine now jessica help me capture it” while stretching my arms out to catch you?

dear obama,

pls bring back the arch deluxe

thx

zap2it:

Someone high five Tom Brady so we can stop laughing.  No, wait.  Don’t.

"High five! … you? … You?… No, I"m, I’m waving. I just waving, it’s not…"

zap2it:

Someone high five Tom Brady so we can stop laughing.  No, wait.  Don’t.

"High five! … you? … You?… No, I"m, I’m waving. I just waving, it’s not…"

dildorrito:

what’s the password

dildorrito:

what’s the password

disgustinganimals:

lawebloca:

lizard drinking soda

use the straw. use the freaking straw. that’s why we have the straw.

disgustinganimals:

lawebloca:

lizard drinking soda

use the straw. use the freaking straw. that’s why we have the straw.

npr:

New York City is launching the latest salvo in its never-ending war on rats.
City officials are ramping up efforts to teach regular New Yorkers how to make their streets, businesses and gardens less hospitable to rodents — in other words, to see their neighborhood the way a health inspector would.
When Caroline Bragdon, a rat expert with the city’s Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, walks through the East Village, she’s not looking at the people or the storefronts. Her eyes point down, at the place where the sidewalk meets the buildings and the street. “If you look really carefully, you can even see their hairs,” Bragdon says, pointing to a little hole in the sidewalk next to a sewer grate. “When we see something like this, what we say to each other is, ‘This catch basin is hot.’ You know, ‘This is ratty.’ “
Rats! New York City Tries To Drain Rodent ‘Reservoirs’
Photo credit: Ludovic Bertron/Flickr

or just take those expanding sponge things that come in a pill, and put some pb on them, then leave them out. Rat eats the pill, sponge expands in stomach, bam, no more rat.

npr:

New York City is launching the latest salvo in its never-ending war on rats.

City officials are ramping up efforts to teach regular New Yorkers how to make their streets, businesses and gardens less hospitable to rodents — in other words, to see their neighborhood the way a health inspector would.

When Caroline Bragdon, a rat expert with the city’s Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, walks through the East Village, she’s not looking at the people or the storefronts. Her eyes point down, at the place where the sidewalk meets the buildings and the street. “If you look really carefully, you can even see their hairs,” Bragdon says, pointing to a little hole in the sidewalk next to a sewer grate. “When we see something like this, what we say to each other is, ‘This catch basin is hot.’ You know, ‘This is ratty.’ “

Rats! New York City Tries To Drain Rodent ‘Reservoirs’

Photo credit: Ludovic Bertron/Flickr

or just take those expanding sponge things that come in a pill, and put some pb on them, then leave them out. Rat eats the pill, sponge expands in stomach, bam, no more rat.

npr:

Meet the Squirrel Whisperer (photo courtesy of the Squirrel Whisperer's FB page.)